You Know Your Clients—But Do You Know What Drives Their Decisions?
Why Smart People Still Struggle with Money—And How to Fix It
What You and Your Advisor Need to Know about Financial Success
You can have the perfect financial plan, a high-income job, and a solid investment strategy—yet still feel anxious, stuck, or disconnected from your money. Why? Because money isn’t just numbers. It’s identity. It’s trust. It’s emotion.
At Knowing Me, Knowing You, we don’t just talk about financial strategy—we uncover the deeper reasons why people struggle with money, no matter how successful they are.
In this week’s episode, we sat down with Ed Coambs, a financial therapist and founder of Healthy Love and Money, to explore the invisible forces driving financial behaviors—the hidden stories, emotional patterns, and psychological blocks that shape our financial lives.
Whether you’re a financial professional trying to deepen client relationships or someone working to overcome financial stress, this conversation will challenge the way you think about money—and give you the tools to take control of your financial future in a way that actually sticks.
👇 Keep reading to uncover the biggest takeaways from this conversation and how you can apply them today.
The Power of Financial Intimacy
Beyond Numbers: Understanding Money as a Relationship
One of the most transformative insights from our discussion was Ed’s concept of financial intimacy—the idea that money isn’t just a transaction, it’s a deeply personal and emotional experience.
Financial intimacy means being truly known in your financial life—by yourself and by those closest to you. It means understanding your emotional triggers, family money history, and personal financial identity, so you can make choices that align with your values, rather than reacting based on inherited patterns or societal pressure.
For financial professionals, this is a game-changer. If you’re working with clients, it’s no longer just about structuring investments or optimizing tax strategies. It’s about uncovering the why behind financial behaviors and creating a space where clients feel safe to share their financial fears, struggles, and aspirations.
Lessons from Financial Therapy: What Every Financial Professional (and Individual) Should Know
1. The Stories We Carry About Money Matter More Than We Realize
Most people come to a financial advisor looking for technical solutions—a better investment strategy, retirement planning guidance, or a budgeting framework. But as Ed pointed out, the real obstacles to financial progress are often psychological and emotional.
A high-income professional who avoids financial planning? Likely grew up in a household where money was a source of stress and conflict.
A couple fighting about spending? Might not be about the spending at all—it’s about control, trust, and security.
A client resistant to investing in themselves or their future? They may have internalized scarcity from a family history of financial instability.
For financial advisors, planners, and coaches, recognizing these patterns isn’t just helpful—it’s essential. The industry has long trained professionals to focus on logic, data, and models, but without addressing emotional resistance, even the best financial plans will fail.
2. Financial Advisors Are Helping Clients Change Their Behavior—Whether They Realize It or Not
This episode reinforced a critical truth: financial planning is behavior change work. If you’re advising clients on their finances, you’re not just delivering technical solutions—you’re guiding them through an emotional transformation.
But here’s the challenge: many advisors and planners aren’t trained in behavior change. This is why financial therapy is gaining traction—it integrates the human psychology behind financial behaviors into the planning process.
If you’re in wealth management, ask yourself:
Am I actively listening to my clients’ financial fears and concerns, or am I just focusing on numbers?
Do I help clients explore their emotional relationship with money, or do I assume that logic and data will win them over?
How do I create an environment where clients feel safe to open up about their financial struggles?
These questions can make all the difference between an advisor who simply “delivers financial plans” and one who fosters deep, long-lasting client relationships.
Balancing Numbers and Emotions: The Financial Planning Industry’s Next Evolution
One of the biggest shifts happening in financial services today is the recognition that money is both rational and emotional.
For too long, finance has been framed as a purely logical endeavor: numbers, spreadsheets, risk analysis. But as Ed highlighted, that’s only half of the equation. Without addressing the emotional and psychological layers, financial planning often falls short.
At the same time, there’s a risk in swinging too far in the opposite direction. As Ed wisely pointed out, ignoring the numbers in favor of only discussing emotions can also be a mistake. True financial wellness happens when both numbers and narrative are integrated.
If you’re in wealth management, this is a huge opportunity. The best financial advisors and planners of the future won’t just be experts in market analysis and wealth management—they’ll also be experts in client psychology, emotional intelligence, and behavioral finance.
How Individuals Can Apply These Insights to Their Own Financial Lives
For those on the personal side of this conversation, this episode offered a powerful takeaway: your financial health is not just about numbers—it’s about your relationship with money.
If you’re feeling stuck, anxious, or disconnected from your financial goals, the answer might not be a better spreadsheet or a new budgeting app. The answer might be a deeper understanding of why you make the financial choices you do.
Three Steps to Improve Your Financial Relationship
Reflect on Your Money Story
What did you learn about money from your parents or caregivers?
How has that shaped your current financial habits?
Are there any limiting beliefs holding you back?
2. Acknowledge the Emotional Side of Money
What emotions come up when you think about your finances?
Do you feel stress, avoidance, guilt, fear?
How does that impact your ability to make financial decisions?
3. Redefine Success on Your Own Terms
Are you chasing wealth for external validation, or for a purpose that truly aligns with your values?
What does financial success actually look like to you?
What changes can you make today to bring your financial goals more in line with your values?
Final Thoughts: The Future of Financial Wellness
This conversation with Ed Combs underscored something we’ve always believed at Knowing Me, Knowing You: financial well-being isn’t just about accumulating wealth—it’s about aligning money with meaning.
For wealth managers, this means redefining the advisor-client relationship, incorporating emotional intelligence into financial planning, and helping clients uncover the real reasons behind their financial behaviors.
For individuals, this means moving beyond numbers and exploring the deeper layers of financial wellness—self-awareness, emotional resilience, and meaningful financial goals.
Your Financial Story is Yours to Shape
➡️ What beliefs have shaped the way you approach money?
➡️ How do your emotions impact your financial decisions?
➡️ What small shifts in your awareness could lead to lasting financial change?
Financial well-being is about more than just getting the numbers right—it’s about making sure your money choices reflect who you really are.
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Until next time—keep discovering, keep growing, and remember: you are in control of your financial story.
