Trust & Control: The Delicate Dance

Trust and control. These are opposite concepts that lie at the heart of money decisions. Women who have worked hard to build wealth know this tension all too well. 

You built your financial capital through dedication, smart choices, grit, sacrifice, and perhaps a few setbacks along the way. But as your financial journey unfolds, you find yourself grappling with a new challenge: how do you strike a balance between trusting others to manage your finances and maintaining control over your financial future?

You’ve likely been misguided in the past. I get that…I have been too. I trusted people who didn’t earn my trust. I delegated power that should have stuck with me. I was too busy to pay attention to what was happening beneath my nose, and paralyzed with indecision. Too many financial products don’t end up delivering on the value they aggressively sold you. 

The problem is that most women with capital want both—trust and control. Here’s a refreshing concept…they deserve and should have both.

Paradoxically, they find it difficult to achieve either. And this tension is especially acute for women who have fought hard to achieve financial independence, only to find that the very systems meant to support them are the ones they trust the least. 

With 20 years of experience at the heart of these systems, I’m happy to offer a new, alternative path to achieving both trust AND control.

Trust: The Elusive Ideal

Trust is essential in any partnership, but especially when managing money. Handing over some level of control to someone else in the belief they will act in your best interest requires a leap of faith. This leap is especially difficult for women who have faced biases or inequalities in their careers or financial lives. Of course it is. Just ask a successful woman in your network and you’ll hear stories upon stories of condescension, false judgment, and feeling taken advantage of across settings.

The psychology behind trust is deeply rooted in personal context. It's shaped by past experiences—both positive and negative. For most women, their "money history" may include experiences of being excluded from financial decision-making, underestimating their own financial capabilities, witnessing or even being blamed for money-related trauma. These experiences create a heightened sense of caution when dealing with financial professionals of any type, investment opportunities, or even joint decision-making with partners.

Knomee’s research shows that many high-net-worth women want to feel trust their financial advisors or teams but struggle to do so because they feel they lack a clear framework for accountability. Without that, trust feels risky, even irresponsible. 

Control: A Double-Edged Sword

On the flip side, control provides the reassurance that no one else can mishandle your money. Control, however, is labor-intensive. Maintaining full control over every financial decision, transaction, and investment opportunity takes time, effort, and expertise. 

Further, the belief in control undermines the emotional relationship with money. Research has proven that natural emotional tendencies lead to unfavorable financial outcomes. Control is therefore unattainable unless you “control” for the human factor, the part of you that you know might make a mistake, guided by bias rather than proven strategies. The reality is, no one person can manage everything alone, but the idea of relinquishing control—without a clear understanding of how things will be managed—leads to hesitation, and often, inaction.

For women with capital, control is not just about decision-making. It’s about protecting the value of what they’ve built. This wealth is not abstract; it represents years of sacrifice, hard work, and careful planning. The idea of handing over control, without a believable and structured plan, feels impossible. As a result, they remain stuck between wanting to delegate and fearing the loss of control that comes with it.

Finding Balance: Clarity and Accountability

Knomee provides the solution to this dilemma by introducing a framework that brings both trust and control into harmony. Through Knomee’s Financial Identity™ and forthcoming Financial Confidence Program, women can create a personalized financial profile that clearly outlines their goals, values, and expectations. By doing so, they gain the clarity to set objectives and performance metrics that hold financial advisors and service providers accountable.

This structured clarity is key to finding the balance between trust and control. When expectations are clearly defined, women feel empowered to trust because they know that their goals are being pursued according to their vision. At the same time, they maintain a level of control by monitoring these objectives and tracking progress.

The Psychology Behind Trust and Control

Psychologically, trust stems from confidence and security. When you know your financial goals are clear and your team has the tools and information to help you achieve them, trust becomes less of a leap and more of a step. According to Knomee’s research, women who engage in financial goal-setting and self-discovery are more likely to trust financial advisors and partners. They also feel more secure because they are not surrendering control, but rather guiding the process with accountability measures in place.

It’s important to note that money-related experiences from the past—whether positive or negative—shape how people approach trust and control. Money is defined in the context of personal narratives, and for women the story often involves overcoming financial exclusion to feeling financially invisible. Understanding these narratives is key to unlocking confidence and ultimately finding balance.

A Framework for Financial Empowerment

Knomee’s approach is centered around empowering women to create a financial identity that captures their values, goals, and expectations. This becomes the foundation for every interaction they have with financial professionals. It’s not about trusting blindly or holding on to every detail with a clenched fist. It’s about creating an environment where trust is earned, and control is maintained through clarity and accountability.

When women can communicate their financial goals with precision and ensure their team is working toward them, trust becomes easier. And when there is a system in place to track progress and measure outcomes, control is not relinquished—it’s shared.

The Path Forward

As Knomee prepares to launch a new Financial Confidence Program, this framework of clarity, trust, and control will help high-net-worth women take charge of their financial future. By embracing both trust and control, they can move forward with confidence—knowing that they have the right team working toward their personalized goals, and a rubric of accountability securely in place.

The cost of NOT taking this step is significant. Without clarity, financial decisions remain reactive, relationships with advisors remain transactional, and financial goals stay unclear. 

But with Knomee, women can step into a future where they are not only in control but also able to trust that their money is working in alignment with their values and aspirations.

The Call to Action

The time has come to stop feeling stuck between trust and control. If you’ve worked hard for your money, you deserve both. Knomee’s upcoming launch of a new Financial Confidence Program is designed to help you gain clarity, build trust, and maintain control over your financial future. Join us as we embark on this journey to financial empowerment—where trust and control are no longer at odds, but in balance.