Money Shame Lives in the Body. I’ve Seen It. You’ve Felt It.
A friend called me recently, completely unglued. Markets were volatile, headlines were ugly, and she couldn’t sleep. Fear hit her and made her feel out of control. Shame. Panic. She couldn’t stop feeling that everything she built could disappear. She felt overwhelmed and knew she had made mistakes before, selling during market crashes.
I’ve heard versions of this story my entire career. I’ve lived them too. I’ve made similar mistakes. Felt similar shame.
We like to think of money as rational. Clean. Logical. But it rarely is. It’s identity. It’s safety. It’s the stories we inherited. And for a lot of people, it’s a source of shame.
That’s why I asked Bari Tessler, financial therapist and creator of The Art of Money, to join me on Knowing Me, Knowing You. Her work sits at the intersection of somatic psychology and financial behavior. She’s not giving people budgets. She’s helping them understand what’s going on in their body when they think about money.
Where Money Shame Shows Up (And Why It’s So Common)
Bari calls money shame a cloak. You don’t always see it, but it weighs people down. It shows up in avoidance. In anxiety. In hiding.
It’s the advisor who hasn’t opened their own statements. The entrepreneur who feels like a fraud for not saving more. The client who’s convinced they’ve already failed financially because of a few missteps.
And it cuts across income, profession, gender, and experience. This isn’t about “being bad with money.” It’s about the emotional residue we carry and the stories we tell ourselves when things feel out of control.
Financial Literacy Isn’t the Answer. Awareness Is.
People don’t need more jargon or spreadsheets. They need space to pause and check in.
That’s where Bari’s Body Check-In comes in. It’s simple. Before making a financial decision, or even before starting a conversation…you stop and notice what’s happening inside.
Tight chest? Numb fingers? Racing thoughts? You don’t need to fix it. You just notice it.
This practice helps people move out of reactivity and into awareness. And when you give clients that tool, you give them something most financial plans don’t: agency.
This Is the Work: Knowing Your Client, Not Just Their Numbers
If you’re in financial services and still skipping over the emotional side of money, you’re not going to meet your clients where they are.
Because clients don’t just want advice. They want to feel seen. They want a relationship that helps them make sense of their priorities…and their fear. They want to be known in a way that feels safe, not transactional.
At Knomee, we’re building tools to do exactly that. Our platform deepens connections so that clients feel known. We help them through self discovery so that they feel comfortable articulating their values, goals, and life transitions so that their trusted advisor can meet them where they are AND get them to where they want to be. You have to be in the moment to help navigate to the next one.
You Can’t Separate Financial Decisions From Emotion. So Stop Trying.
The old model of wealth management is breaking down. Advisors who keep relying on pure investment management are going to lose. They already are losing. Clients aren’t just thinking about returns—they’re thinking about how money shapes their lives, their relationships, and their sense of self.
They don’t want someone who can read a market forecast. They want someone who can hold space when things feel uncertain.
That’s what builds trust. That’s what keeps clients coming back. That’s what grows firms.
🎧 Listen to Bari Tessler on Knowing Me, Knowing You
Her work is a reminder that emotional intelligence isn’t a soft skill in finance. It’s the foundation of everything that matters.
